Blue Stone Chinese Telephone Witchcraft (2024)
Inkjet and Watercolor on Hanji Paper.
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On the train to Rabat, I sit across from a man named O. I say Salaam Alaykum, then that I don't speak Arabic, but his English is good. He's from Niger, I ask him about what is not a war but could be a war, right now it's something else and he says "we will see" but doesn't seem too bothered - life will go on. He tells me has a family - a wife and 4 kids - and he's working hard right now because he wants a second wife. He says "that's the reality there. Everywhere there is a different reality, and you adjust to it".

"Paul didn't write to create a body of work, but to keep in contact with the churches he founded."

Last night I was texting T about the Carrere and the blend of writing styles (autobiography, history, essays) that it presents - he says we need a list of books similar in form, and I wonder how many similar books exist. I see that Carrere sold hundreds of thousands of copies of the book according to The Guardian and think about the French reality of being a writer vs. the American reality of being a writer, like the British reality of being a musician vs. the American reality of being a musician. I texted T about my problem of reading to write, of wanting to read so much in order to have it impact what I write next, the problem of this when I constantly put hundreds of pages of words in between myself and the words I need to write, the attempt I need to make, and where this need stems from. Essay comes from "to attempt", it's an etymology that has been broken down many times. T notices that there are more blogs added to the top, we start talking about email correspondence as a form, the Romanticism that accompanies it, Diderot's letters to Sophie Volland, and now I'm reminded of love letters and prayers and the importance of them.

"You can’t say that the Romans invented globalization, because it already existed under Alexander’s empire, but they brought it to a point of perfection that lasted for five centuries. It’s like McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, shopping malls, and Apple Stores today: wherever you go, you find the same thing. Of course, there are grouches who deplore this cultural and political imperialism, but all in all most people are happy to live in a pacified world where you can move around freely, where you’re never out of your element, where wars are fought by professional soldiers on the distant borders of the Empire and have no more repercussions on people’s lives than the festivities and celebrations that mark their victories."

"Everywhere there is a different reality, and you adjust to it" - how does this adjustment happen, and what should it be? The train is very hot, the air conditioning is broken, and it's 110 degrees outside which doesn't translate directly to inside but I am sweating and waving two cards from Galerie Chantal Crousel - one with a list of names, another with a photograph of a dead elk - to cool myself. There are many people yelling and arguing, I don't know about what. A baby cries, it's all just rendered into a soundscape that I'm not recording. I wonder if my scribe app understands Arabic, but it's too late to pull it out. I wonder if there would've been air conditioning on an earlier train, but I wouldn't have met O on an earlier train. He asks me where I'm from and I say India. He says that's good, there are many Indians in Niamey and they're good people, they work hard, they contribute to the country. He works in agricultural engineering but he also has business ventures. He was in Fez for a religious piligrimmage. It's the second time he's been. Everywhere there is a different reality and you adjust to it. People move about the train and the baby cries even louder - I notice it's wearing a Mickey Mouse onesie.

"When visiting another city he made a habit of going to the synagogue on the day of the Sabbath. He doesn't know anyone, but he's not fazed, because synagogues are the same everywhere. A simple room, almost empty."

There is a hotel room waiting for me in Rabat. It will be cool inside, it will be close to the sea. I will escape the heat and these piercing baby screams.